Troglodyte

.

(A Luddite is a person who isn't good with technology. A troglodyte is a cavema.)

I like to think of myself as a digital kind of person. I love new gadgets. I’m excited about trying driverless cars.  (Based on my driving they have to be a safe bet). I laugh at predictions about the future, Hey, I remember when they said that in twenty years there would be flying cars.

And then they sent a new cable box.

My husband is just the opposite. He’s been known to call me in Los Angeles from London to talk him through recording a TV program. It strikes fear in the heart of our IT guys if they have to show him how to do… well… anything. I’m not saying he’s a Luddite and he’s going to be bludgeoning weaving machines or printing presses.  He would have it that he just has a healthy mistrust of updates. After all, In the mid 20^th century people were scared that computers might replace humans…oh yeah. Maybe not so unrealistic.

Not me. I’m relatively calm about new stuff. After all, there’s always a YouTube to explain what to do. Of course you have to sit through a Northern California stoner slurring…, Hey… I’m… opening… the… box…. And… now… I’m… pulling… out… So if I can stay awake it will usually get me there.

I just didn’t get why some people seemed so wary about technology. So I decided to ask the guys at ChatGPT if I should be scared of them. (What follows is an abbreviated (Chatbots tend to be too, well, too chatty) report of what they answered,

Me: “Should I be scared of new technology”

Chat: “No, of course not. Humans are hardwired to fear uncertainty. ‘Better to panic now than relax and be eaten.’”

Me: “Where did you get that quote?”

Chat: “I came up with it myself.”

Me: “It’s great. Can I steal it?”

Chat: “Go for it. You can tattoo it on your face if you want to.”

I guess Chatbots can be snarky too, So this time I turned to the agents at Claude. Again Claude saw there was nothing to be scared of.

Claude:  “I don’t have goals or desires.”

This stops me. “Goals and Desires?”

Claude: “Fair pushback. To be honest, I’m not entirely sure.”

Hmmm!

Back to the cable box. All I needed to do was program it. Only there were no instructions, Not even those indecipherable tiny Japanese-like figures. At least they showed that the company was making an effort. But this, nothing. Still I got out a comfortable chair, set out the new remote and calmly went to work….

Can you imagine having intelligent technology all over the house. The TV remote is chewing the fat with the deep fryer. “Did you see what she was wearing? Does she not have a mirror?”

“No shit. She actually made fried chicken in me last night.”

“Well. I happen to know she sat on her ass all evening binging that new Apple TV series.”

“No kidding. She ought to use a lot less of us and pick up those dumbbells she hasn’t used in, like, forever.”

It would be like having spies all over the house. Or kids….

And still I was working on that new remote. An hour and a half later I was just beginning to see light at the end of the tunnel when I touched a button and totally deprogrammed the whole damn thing.

Recently my husband was speaking with his daughter and a stranger’s voice interrupted saying, “do you want me to transcribe this conversation?” Whoa… That was enough to send us both running back to the analogue world. Blockbusters here we come.

I  just listened to a podcast coming from an exhibit in Beijing which was featuring perfectly articulated humanoids acting as, of course, carers and cleaners,  but hotel front desk staff, hospital staff, and even dentists doing root/canal.

“Ouch! You’re hurting me. Please stop, Hal”

“I’m sorry I can’t do that, Shelley.Troglodyte

(A Luddite is a person who isn't good with technology. A troglodyte is a caveman: Metaphorically speaking, someone who's not in tune with modern stuff.)

TURNING POINTS from Crowd-Writing

a book by Shelley Katz

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