Enshitification

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 Hi, I’m Amanda. How can I help you today?

I need to speak with an agent.

Okay… You can tell me what you’d like to do?

Actually, it’s complicated. I need to speak with a representative.

I see. You’d like to book a flight.

No, I want to speak with an agent, a representative.

Right, so you want to dispute your air miles

Agent! Agent!

Okay. I didn’t understand your question

I want to speak to an AGENT!

You can speak to me.

I can’t speak to you. You’re a machine.

I see. You want to know our opening hours.

AGENT! REPRESENTATIVE! I want to speak to a real person. A sentient being

Yes, of course. You want our website.

Enshitification was coined by Cory Doctorow. It was the Word of the Year in 2023. Though it hardly needs definition, it is in short, platform decay.

Once reliable websites now are all ads. Remember when Google was great? You’d type in a query and it would  come back with exactly what you’d requested. Well, once it had hooked us in, they worked out that if it were less accurate, we’d remain scrolling on their website longer. Which would give them more time to bombard us with ads,

When was the last time you actually got to see a real live friend’s post on Facebook? I seem to be besties with a perfume manufacturer. Four newspapers, Three theater companies, a brand of makeup, a grouting manufacturer. Amazon used to be about  cheaper goods. Now they’ve raised prices and peppered them with loads of ads. Uber? Just when did surge pricing come in? Ever notice that streaming services now seem to feature shorter episodes.

And then of course there is the utter hell of Chatbots.

But wait. There’s more. What about interactions with real live human beings…or more like the promise of one. Remember when they told us that working from home was going to be sooo much more efficient? Meanwhile you’re left listening to blasting music on a loop, while the person at  the other end is waiting for her fingernails to dry or binge-watching porn.

But being honest here, In truth I can understand the attraction of platform decay in one’s own life. For example, You go out with Uncle Maury and Aunt Silvia and all they talk about is their bunions or their open heart surgery. Wouldn’t you just like to go offline? Or what about when you receive an envelope that you can feel is scary thick and clearly an invitation. Wouldn’t a recording be bliss? “All of our operators are busy at the moment.” “Your bar mitzvah is important to us.”

In truth there’s the constant temptation to outsource. Just phone it in.

Of course that could be a good thing. We would go mad if we  really paid attention to all the whining in a relationship. Isn’t it just easier to say, “Yes, dear.” And when he says, “But I’ve told you that three times.” He didn’t. Or did he? Whatever, I’m sticking with that.

In fact that has become what most of us do now. Have you ever caught yourself on Season 86 of a just OK TV series because you can’t be bothered to relate to new characters. Or you get an invitation  - You mean out? Past 9 pm? Wardrobe?  Casual. Hey, why not just slippers? What’s a tie? Or caught yourself sending texts instead of phone calls. Or saying, “Just give me the headline”. Get me the Cliff Notes. In fact why use words when you can just use an emoji?

How far can we take this? There’s the old joke about a guy who’s sent to prison and he hears one of the inmates call out the number “26.” And all the guys in the cells burst out into laughter. Another inmate yells, “72.” And again everyone laughs. Then one guy yells out “46.” And there is utter silence. So the new inmate asks one of the old jailbirds what’s going on. It’s explained to him that every joke has a number, so when the number is yelled out, the inmates laugh at the punch line. When he asks what was wrong with joke 46, the old jailbird shrugs. “Some people just do not know how to tell a joke.”

I guess the question is, how can this be stopped? But of course the answer is clear. It’s simply called “making an effort.”

And I’m going to get around to it…maybe tomorrow.

TURNING POINTS from Crowd-Writing

a book by Shelley Katz

Out Now